Your childhood beliefs are sabotaging you now
What if one of the root causes of your symptoms are the beliefs you have about yourself and the subconscious thoughts and patterns that you picked up during your childhood?
Do you have a hard time starting and sticking to new habits or routines?
Do you berate yourself for not being able to follow a new diet plan?
Do you self-sabotage?
The quality of your decisions determines the quality of your life. You’re living your life in unhealthy default mode on a trajectory that you didn’t necessarily decide on purpose, and you hate it, but you don’t hate it enough to choose to do something differently, or to change it, yet. What do your actions demonstrate that you value? If you eat takeout every day that demonstrates that you value convenience, if you work out every day that demonstrates that you value your health. If you want to improve, you have to challenge the fact that you secretly accept mediocrity.
When I work with private coaching clients, after I listen to their main complaints, I ask what their intentions are. What do they want? But, equally as powerful, is what they don't want. This might include asking them, what thoughts or beliefs they have (that may or may not be true) that are holding them back, and limiting their progress. It's not about willpower, its about breaking-up with the thoughts that consciously or subconsciously telling them they don't deserve it, so why even try. These beliefs are keeping them stuck in an unhealthy default mode.
Journal Exercise - it works best to write down your answers.
Ask yourself "What do I want to stop doing/thinking/believing that is holding me back and keeping me stuck?" Ask, "Where does this come from?" "Objectively, is it even true?"
What habits or routines are tied to those beliefs that are not getting you the life you want? Write down one thing you could do today to counteract that habit, thought, or belief.
Most people's habits are unintentional, unless you've actually designed them with goals in mind. They are cobbled together, or they are unconsciously going through the motions, which is still a habit. If none of your habits directly contribute to your intentions, you're doing something wrong.
Get Unstuck
How can you redesign your habits and routines little by little to align with your intentions?
Start with identifying and breaking up with your limiting beliefs.
Write down a self-encouragement statement and repeat it to yourself throughout the day by tying it to a cue, like every time you eat or brush your teeth.
Write down your intentions - what you want for your life, and what you don't want.
Each day, pick a highlight for your day - something you'll work on that aligns with your intentions. Write it down where you will see it - on a sticky note, your calendar, or at the top of your to-do list. Might as well list a few things you appreciate in your life while you're at it. What you appreciate appreciates.
Redesign your bedtime and morning routines, so that you can get adequate rest, which will allow you to start your day ready to do your life on purpose rather than letting life happen to you.
Starting new habits can be daunting, but doable if you are patient with yourself and stick to it even when you're not 100%. A few years ago. I heard a productivity expert say, that if you do something 3 times a week, that "counts" as a habit. That's great! Leave that all-or-nothing mindset behind while you're at it. You can always begin again today. In my upcoming webinar, Healthy Hacks for the Holidays, I will refer Dr. B.J. Fogg’s Tiny Habits Recipe to show that it is doable.
In the book, Make Time, the authors say, "A powerful routine decreases cognitive load and streamlines achieving your highlight. It allows you to then focus your limited mental capacity to focus on the right tasks." For example, if your highlight is to support the intention to cook at home and eat less processed foods, that could be broken down into "tasks" such as making a list of a few meals you want to make this week, translating that to a grocery list, buying groceries, chopping veggies for fast meals throughout the week (i.e. roasted veggies or chopped salads, or a quick soup).
None of this is rocket science. It's just about knowing what you want and don't want, making plans to align with those intentions, and consistently showing up.
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