You are not alone. We are all in this together.

You are not alone. We are all in this together. We need negative and positive emotions to keep our primordial brains feeling safe. That said, the struggle is real.

Life is a journey; not a destination. Happiness is not a destination, it is elusive. But we can become happier - it is a progression. I’ve been a reader of Gretchen Rubin’s books, such as Happier than Before and The Four Tendencies (free quiz on her website - I love a quiz that can give me more insights into myself), and listened to her podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin, for years. Yet, until I heard Arthur Brooks, Harvard professor and bestselling author, yesterday being interviewed by Steven Bartlett on his YouTube channel A Diary of a CEO, it didn’t click for me why so many people are unhappy. There is enjoyment, pleasure, contentment. But, happy, is a hard place to find. That’s because happiness is on a continuum. Every person is unique, and will feel the ebbs and flows of this emotion and all emotions differently. Brooks referenced the PANAS scale, a useful framework on how each of us is affected by positive and negative emotions. You can take the quiz on his website, www.arthurbrooks.com, under the Learn tab. There are four quadrants.

1. High positive, High negative

2. High positive, Low negative (this is where I tend to land)

3. Low positive, High negative

4. Low positive, Low negative

Brooks was adamant that there are no bad emotions; that all emotions are good. It’s how you handle the emotions, how long do you dwell in the negative before moving on. That is the what we are figuring out.I think about James Clear’s quote from his book Atomic Habits, “Where you spend your attention is where you spend your life.” We have a choice. I choose kindness; I give the benefit of the doubt unless someone has proven unworthy of that. I tend toward the positive. I feel the negative, and if I’m stuck there I know from experience and listening to my intuition that something is very wrong and I need to make a change. For the most part I’m in a state of contentedness, seeking to improve myself and continuously learning. It’s a life in progress, working toward living in alignment with my values, goals and purpose. Everyday that is where I strive to spend my attention. I’m still working all of this out. You’re welcome to join the journey as I share what I’m learning with you.